Some people seem naturally empathetic. They notice when someone is uncomfortable, pick up on changes in tone or expression, and instinctively try to understand what another person may be feeling.

For others, empathy does not seem to come quite as easily.

So does that mean empathy is something you are either born with or without?

Not exactly.

Research suggests that humans may begin life with some of the building blocks of empathy, but empathy is not entirely fixed. Our ability to understand other people’s perspectives, recognize emotions, respond with concern, and communicate that understanding can develop over time.

In other words, empathy can be strengthened.

Is Empathy Learned or Inherited?

The answer appears to be both.

Humans show signs of responding to other people’s distress remarkably early in life. Even very young infants can respond with distress when they hear another infant crying, a response researchers have studied as an early sign of empathy development. As children develop, their responses to other people’s emotions become more sophisticated. (Infant Behavior and Development)

That suggests there is a natural foundation for empathy.

But having the capacity for empathy does not mean every person will develop or express it in exactly the same way.

Our experiences, relationships, environment, personality, emotional regulation, beliefs, and willingness to understand other people can all influence how empathy develops.

Someone may therefore have an underlying capacity for empathy while still needing to develop the skills that help them use it well.

So, Can Empathy Actually Be Learned?

Yes, many aspects of empathy can be learned and improved. Empathic skills can be developed and practiced rather than being entirely fixed. (BMJ)

Studies involving healthcare professionals are particularly interesting because empathy has been studied extensively in medical settings.

Research has found that empathy can sometimes decline during medical training, especially in stressful environments. At the same time, structured empathy training can help clinicians strengthen their empathic skills. (Journal of Patient Experience)

That tells us something important: empathy is not necessarily a fixed quality that remains unchanged throughout life.

It can increase, decrease, become blocked, or be strengthened depending on how we use it.

But You Cannot Force Yourself to Feel Something

This is where the question becomes more complicated.

Learning empathy does not necessarily mean teaching yourself to automatically feel another person’s emotions.

You cannot always manufacture an emotional reaction on command.

Instead, developing empathy often means improving the abilities that make empathy more likely: paying attention, listening, recognizing another person’s emotional state, considering their perspective, questioning your assumptions, and allowing yourself to remain open to their experience.

That distinction matters.

A person can become more empathetic without suddenly becoming highly emotional or absorbing everything the people around them feel.

Empathy is not measured by how intensely you experience someone else’s pain.

Different Types of Empathy May Develop Differently

Part of the confusion around whether empathy can be learned comes from the fact that empathy is not just one ability.

Different forms of empathy involve different processes.

Cognitive empathy involves understanding another person’s perspective or recognizing what they may be thinking and feeling.

Emotional empathy involves emotionally responding to another person’s feelings.

Compassionate empathy adds another element: concern for the person and often a desire to help.

These abilities do not necessarily develop at the same rate.

Someone might be very good at understanding another person’s point of view without strongly sharing the person’s emotion. Another person may feel other people’s emotions intensely but struggle to step back and understand what is actually happening.

This is one reason it is more accurate to say that empathic abilities can be developed rather than treating empathy as one simple skill that can be taught in a single lesson.

Your Beliefs About Empathy Matter

Interestingly, believing that empathy can grow may itself make a difference.

Research has found that people who view empathy as something that can be developed tend to put more effort into understanding others, especially when empathizing is difficult. (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology)

That might mean asking another question instead of assuming you already know what someone means. It could mean listening a little longer or trying to understand someone whose experiences are very different from your own.

By contrast, if you believe empathy is simply something you either have or do not have, there may be less reason to make that effort.

Empathy often begins with curiosity.

Can Adults Learn Empathy?

Empathy development does not stop in childhood.

Adults can continue strengthening empathic skills throughout their lives.

One of the most important parts of this process is learning to slow down our automatic judgments.

Imagine that a friend suddenly stops responding to messages.

Your first thought might be:

They don’t care about me.

An empathetic response does not require you to excuse their behavior or pretend you are not hurt.

It simply allows room for another possibility:

I don’t know what is happening in their life right now.

That small shift—from certainty to curiosity—is one of the ways empathy can grow.

Perspective-Taking Can Be Practiced

Perspective-taking is one of the most teachable components of empathy.

It involves deliberately trying to understand a situation from another person’s point of view rather than automatically interpreting it through your own experience.

This does not mean imagining what you would do if you were in their situation.

That can actually lead us in the wrong direction.

Instead, perspective-taking asks a different question:

What might this situation feel like for this particular person, given their experiences, personality, fears, beliefs, and circumstances?

The difference is subtle but important.

Empathy is not assuming that another person feels exactly as you would.

It is recognizing that they may experience the same situation very differently.

Listening Helps Build Empathy

One of the simplest ways people can strengthen empathy is by becoming better listeners.

Many of us listen while simultaneously preparing our response.

We compare the other person’s experience with something that happened to us, decide whether we agree with them, think about advice we can offer, or begin forming an explanation before they have finished talking.

Empathic listening is different.

It involves temporarily setting aside the need to solve, correct, judge, or respond.

Sometimes the most useful question is simply:

What am I missing about this person’s experience?

Asking open-ended questions can also reveal information we could never have discovered by trying to guess what someone else was feeling.

Exposure to Different Perspectives Can Expand Empathy

It is generally easier to understand people whose experiences resemble our own.

That is one reason empathy can become more difficult when we encounter someone from a different background, culture, generation, belief system, or life experience.

But those differences also create opportunities to expand our perspective.

Reading stories, watching character-driven films, learning about unfamiliar experiences, and spending time with people outside our usual social circles can expose us to ways of seeing the world that we might not encounter otherwise.

Stories can be particularly powerful because they invite us into another person’s perspective for an extended period of time.

We learn what a character wants, what they fear, what motivates them, and why they react the way they do.

Those same mental processes can help us understand real people more thoughtfully.

Can Someone With Low Empathy Become More Empathetic?

In many cases, yes.

Someone who appears to have low empathy may not necessarily be incapable of empathy.

They may have difficulty recognizing emotional cues. They may be uncomfortable around strong emotions. They may rely heavily on assumptions. They may have learned to suppress emotional responses, or they may simply have had little practice looking at situations from another person’s point of view.

Motivation matters too.

Empathy requires some willingness to pay attention to another person’s experience.

If someone has no interest in understanding another person, empathy training alone cannot guarantee that they will suddenly become deeply compassionate.

But when a person genuinely wants to understand others better, there are skills they can practice.

Does Learning Empathy Mean Becoming More Sensitive?

No.

Becoming more empathetic does not mean you need to feel everything more intensely.

In fact, healthy empathy often requires being able to maintain some emotional separation between yourself and another person.

If someone you care about is overwhelmed, becoming equally overwhelmed may make it harder for you to support them.

Understanding their feelings while remaining grounded can sometimes be far more helpful.

This is especially important for people who already experience strong emotional empathy and easily absorb the moods of those around them.

For them, developing empathy may involve learning better emotional boundaries rather than trying to feel even more.

Can Too Much Empathy Become a Problem?

Empathy itself is not necessarily the problem, but the way we experience or use it can matter.

Overidentifying with another person’s distress can contribute to personal distress of our own, which may interfere with our ability to respond helpfully. (American Psychological Association)

Instead of remaining present with someone who is suffering, we may become overwhelmed by their emotions.

That can eventually make us want to withdraw.

Healthy empathy therefore involves more than emotional sensitivity. It also involves perspective, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.

The goal is not to become emotionally flooded by everyone around you.

It is to understand people more accurately while still recognizing where their emotions end and yours begin.

How Can You Strengthen Empathy?

Developing empathy does not usually happen through one dramatic exercise. It is more often the result of small habits practiced repeatedly.

You can begin by:

• Listening without immediately preparing your response.
• Asking open-ended questions instead of making assumptions.
• Trying to understand why someone feels the way they do, even when you disagree.
• Noticing your automatic judgments and considering alternative explanations.
• Reading stories that expose you to unfamiliar perspectives and experiences.
• Paying attention to changes in another person’s tone, expression, or behavior.
• Learning to separate another person’s emotions from your own.
• Approaching differences with curiosity instead of immediately deciding who is right or wrong.

None of these practices requires abandoning your own values, agreeing with everyone, or excusing harmful behavior.

Understanding someone is not the same thing as approving of what they do.

Can Empathy Be Taught to Children?

Children appear to show some early foundations of empathy naturally, but the adults around them can help those abilities develop.

Children learn partly by watching how other people respond to emotions.

When adults acknowledge feelings, model kindness, encourage perspective-taking, and help children think about how their actions affect others, they create opportunities for empathy to grow.

That does not mean children need to be taught empathy from nothing.

Even very young children can show concern for another person’s distress.

Parenting, relationships, education, and social experiences can help shape what happens to that early capacity as children grow.

Can Empathy Be Lost?

Empathy can fluctuate.

Stress, exhaustion, burnout, emotional overload, and repeated exposure to other people’s suffering can make empathic responses more difficult.

Someone who normally cares deeply about others may temporarily feel detached or emotionally depleted.

That does not necessarily mean their empathy has disappeared.

Sometimes the ability is still there, but the person’s emotional resources are stretched too thin to access it easily.

This is another reason empathy should not be thought of as a permanent personality score.

It can change depending on the person, situation, and environment.

Frequently Asked Questions About Learning Empathy

Is empathy something you are born with?

Humans appear to have some early biological capacity for responding to other people’s emotions, but empathy continues developing through childhood and beyond. Both natural tendencies and life experiences appear to play a role.

Can someone learn empathy later in life?

Yes. Adults can improve skills related to empathy, including perspective-taking, emotional recognition, listening, curiosity, and empathic communication.

Can you teach someone to care?

You can encourage behaviors and ways of thinking that support empathy, but another person’s internal emotional response cannot simply be forced. Motivation and willingness matter.

Is empathy a skill?

Parts of empathy can be treated like skills because they can be practiced and improved. Other aspects, particularly spontaneous emotional responses, may be influenced more strongly by temperament, biology, and individual differences.

Does reading fiction increase empathy?

Researchers have explored how engaging with character-driven stories may exercise some of the same abilities involved in understanding real people’s motivations, emotions, and perspectives. Reading is not a guaranteed way to become empathetic, but stories can provide opportunities to practice seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.

Empathy Can Grow

Empathy is neither completely fixed nor something we build from scratch.

Humans appear to begin with some capacity to respond to other people’s emotions, but how that capacity develops depends on many factors.

We can become better at paying attention. We can learn to ask better questions. We can challenge our assumptions. We can expose ourselves to perspectives different from our own. And we can become more skilled at understanding another person’s feelings without becoming consumed by them.

Perhaps the most important part of developing empathy is recognizing that understanding another person takes effort.

We will not always get it right.

But empathy grows when we remain curious enough to keep trying.